Confession #25 0r Fat, Happy Women

Disclaimer: This is not a political post. Recently, my platonic wife (middle aged term for BFF) and I “starred” in a partner workout video.  We attempted exercises normally reserved for people in good shape.  Not to say we are so out of shape that we can’t get out of a chair without help, but after doing a half chin up we would most likely need an anti-inflammatory and an ice pack.

Because my daughter did not weight 35 pounds in utero, I have not been able to get rid of the baby weight after 10 years.  I know that taking in more calories than I exert has something to do with my muffin top.  However, I still blame her for making me flabby.

After age 40, you do need to accept that if you’ve never had six pack abs before you’ll probably never get them.  I tell myself though, that once I win the lottery, I will be able to afford a personal trainer and a fat melting procedure.  Although once I’m rich, will I really care about how I look?

Anyway, as some of you may know, I create and act in a variety of short films and web series videos. I am constantly aware of that my curves are more like that of a snowman than a Victoria’s Secret model when I am in front of the camera. I carefully choose my clothing to hide the extra weight in my middle aged middle (caused by my childbearing).

However, I decided for the partner workout shoot to wear biking shorts and a form fitting tank top.  After seeing myself in the playback after our first exercise called the Ab Box (a more accurate name would be the Ab Torture Chamber), I was mortified at the fact that I looked 4 1/2 months pregnant.  I almost went for a costume change, but a little voice inside of me said “Fuck it.”

Vanity halted and I decided not to cover up my mounds of me-ness.  This is what I look like.  I’m 46, I have never participated in a women’s fitness competition and I’m thinking I never will.  I continued to film the video and we had a blast.  My husband who was filming couldn’t stop laughing and I knew it wasn’t a nervous “oh my God my wife is so out of shape what did I get myself into” laugh but a “holy shit, these girls are a riot” laugh.

It was kind of a relief, really.  To just enjoy filming and not care about what I looked like. A video about getting fit is the video where I decided I don’t care if I don’t look fit.  Oh, the irony.


check out the video, Two Girls One Carpet

Two Girls One Carpet Workout